“There’s no way I’m taking care of your mother”: 37-year-old husband in shock when 38-year-old wife allows elderly mother-in-law to move in but refuses to give a helping hand

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 16, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Married life isn't always violets and roses. To get to the point that you're married to someone takes a lot of hard work, determination to make it work, empathy, compassion, trust, and acceptance. People don't just marry overnight, and the ones who do end up alone in the end because they probably end up in divorce. The idea of marriage is so wonderful, and so soul opening. It's a beautiful and natural thought to want to be with someone forever. But past the beauty and fantasy, it's also incredibly difficult, and actually really scary. I sometimes fear the day I'll be married. What if it doesn't work out? What if I find out something about them when it's too late? It's a big decision, and should never be taken lightly. 

In marriage, your love will fluctuate, but that doesn't mean you should ever feel disrespected. Communication is key, it's not just a funny phrase. In the story below, the couple needs to do some serious communicating with each other, or else they might end up divorced. 

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  • 01

    Aita For not wanting to take care of my MIL

    "I'm not going to change my mind"
    via Motortion from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (38 F) husband (37 M) came to me a few days ago to talk about the possibility of inviting his mother to live with us, she is an elderly woman, she cannot
    via u/ukseal
  • 03
    walk and she uses a wheelchair, his sister used to take care of her but she will be moving to a different country next month. We live in a big house so space is not a problem.
    via u/ukseal
  • 04
    We both agreed and everything was fine. I mean I am not super happy about it because she is a very problematic woman but I have never been the kind of DIL
    via u/ukseal
  • 05
    who obeys and put up with her behavior so I firmly believe I can handle her in case she wants to mess with me.
    via u/ukseal
  • 06
    She will be moving next weekend, and last night my husband asked me, how are going to manage OUR schedules to take care of his mother. I asked him, what was he
    via u/ukseal
  • 07
    talking about? He then said that, since I gave him the ok to bring his mother, he assumed I was taking responsibility for his mother as well, I was in shock.
    via u/ukseal
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10517521920
    via SolStock from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    I told him there is no way I am taking care of his mother and I never agreed to that. I have my job, my career, my social life, my friends and my own
    via u/ukseal
  • 10
    responsibilities and I am not giving up on any of those things to take care of his mother. I told him this was HIS issue not mine. He then said I was a selfish and
    via u/ukseal
  • 11
    cruel person. I suggested to hire someone and he said there is no way he is gonna let a stranger to take care of his mother.
    via u/ukseal
  • 12
    I told him I was not going to change my mind and I am not going to assume any responsibility for his mother. He then said he could not believe he
    via u/ukseal
  • 13
    married someone like me. He went to sleep to our guest bedroom and left early today. I know this is a difficult situation for him but I don't think I am in the wrong here.
    via u/ukseal
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10517522176
    via aldomurillo from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    So, aita? Edit: A lot of people is asking me how on earth we didn't talk about this in the first place. I didn't think it was necessary to explain it here
    via u/ukseal
  • 16
    since I didn't want this post to be super long. So here it is... He came to me (we have been aware of his sister situation for a while so we knew what was coming)
    via u/ukseal
  • 17
    and His exact words were... I don't want to send my mother to a care facility not knowing how is she going to be treated. I think it
    via u/ukseal
  • 18
    would be easier for me to take care of her if I invite her to live with us. But I don't want to make this decision without your consent.
    via u/ukseal
  • 19
    WildlifePolicyChick ⚫ 12h ago he said there is no way he is gonna let a stranger to take care of his mother. Well I guess it will be him then, won't it?
    via u/WildlifePolicyChick

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